How Can I Be Successful In 2015

Empowering people is part of why I do family law and why I am proud to help bring this program to our community.

How Do I Make My Marriage Stronger?

Believe it or not, even as divorce attorneys, when we meet with people who want information about worse case scenarios if a separation occurs, those folks still want their marriage to work.  They seek legal advice to protect themselves, but they really don't want to be in our offices.  So, we get ready to ring in 2015, here are some tips we have compiled to help if you feel your marriage could be stronger:

1.  Make time for you as a couple.  Make arrangements for the kids and then go to the movies, out for dinner, for a walk, etc.  Too often we get consumed with the pressures and commitments of work, shuttling the kids to activities, etc.  Time out for you is important.

2.  Appreciate what you each bring to the relationship, even when it is different from your spouse.  The ying and yang of a couple can make a dynamic system.

3.  Know your household finances and talk about financial goals.  One of the most common stressors in a marriage is money.   Understanding what you each make, how it is used for expenses, what is being saved, what your long term future may look like helps you each feel like you have a part to play.

4.  Make time for you.  Yes, you.  We all have lots of responsibilities with jobs (inside and outside the household), other family members, etc.  Having time for yourself to recharge makes you better.

5.  Seek counseling.  Marriage is hard work; raising kids is hard work; balancing everything in life is hard work.  It's ok if you need to have others help you.  Be sure if you need counseling to find the right person and the right speciality (individual counseling, marriage counseling, co-parenting counseling are three distinct areas and professionals in these areas have distinct training; it is not necessarily an all-in-one approach so do your research).

6.  Know your rights as a spouse and as a parent.  So many resources are available on line, through friends, etc. on what you should do, can do, shouldn't do, can't do if your marriage is in trouble.  If you get to that stage, seek advice through qualified, experienced professionals including family law attorneys.

How should I file taxes if I'm divorced or separated?

Here are some pointers that you may want to discuss with your lawyer and/or your accountant when separating from your spouse or getting a divorce.

1)    Your filing status is based on your marital status as of December 31.  Should you file your taxes based on  married filing single? Head of household? Filing jointly?  Is it beneficial to delay the entry of the divorce decree if you are close to the end of the year?
2)    In order to file as head of household if you are still married,  do you meet all of the requirements including length of separation?
3)    Who gets to claim the tax dependency exemption for a child if not specified in an Agreement or Order?   Do not assume that it is based on who pays the most in child support.  Be sure that you talk to your accountant/tax attorney about this and understand all of the nuances.
4)    Who gets the child care credit?  Again, do not assume that it is based on who pays the most in child support.  Do you have to be claiming the tax dependency exemption for this credit to apply?
5)  What tax issues can you and your spouse agree on and the tax people will honor?  Are there things that you are not allowed to make agreements on?  What forms might you have to complete to carry out agreements?
6)  How does filing status affect deductions or inclusions of spousal support payments?
7)  How should refunds or liabilities be apportioned?
These are just some of the questions that you should be considering as the year comes to an end and tax forms begin to appear in January.

Child custody and holidays

Holidays can be the best of times or the worst of times; and during a separation or after a divorce, the unique issues that face parents dealing with child custody tend to come to a head.  Family traditions are important and navigating how to structure new traditions can be difficult.  Where should a child wake up on Christmas Day?  Should that be alternated each year?  How can travel out of town during the holidays be accommodated and still allow the other parent time to spend with children near special days?  If one parent had Thanksgiving, who should get the next holiday?  Can the exact day be shared comparably?  These are questions that separated/divorced parents have to figure out.  Some can do it on their own; some can do it with the help of a co-parenting counselor; some need the assistance of attorneys or mediators; some will try to have a Court decide.  Our children grow up quickly; and the times of wide-eyed surprise on Christmas morning can vanish in a blink if parents are stuck in litigation and waiting for others to make the decisions for them.  Try to work out the holidays, look at how you can set the example for your children in making days and seasons special for them.  Understand that if you need professionals to help, advance discussions are important so that the plans can be made well ahead of time and the season/day itself can be focused on being together, celebrating, loving, and creating good memories.  Happy Holidays to all of our clients, colleagues, readers, and friends.

Same Sex Marriage and Children

Last week, I posted about some potential areas of the law that may need examination to be consistent with the recent court rulings that allow same sex marriages to proceed in Virginia. Children and child custody is another area of the law where rights to custody, decision making, and visitation start with the premise that the two parents who are married are the biological parents. While there are provisions in the code about parental status in assisted reproduction matters and there are provisions in other parts of the law about who else has a legitimate interest to legal and physical custody rights regarding a child, the burden of proof can be different if a person is not a biological parent and can pose a large hurdle for the non-biological (even if married) parent. If you are married and have a child together, consultation with a family law attorney about how to memorialize your rights and desires about your child in the event of divorce or death is important. If you are not yet married but are engaged or considering marriage, talking to a family law attorney about how a prenuptial agreement can help protect your intentions if children are part of your future family is a good step to take.

Real Estate Issues in Same Sex Marriages

There has been a lot of celebrating in the past few weeks with the US Supreme Court’s decision not to hear Virginia’s same sex marriage case, thereby leaving same sex marriage in Virginia to proceed full steam ahead. With this momentous decision, however, same sex couples need to understand where some of the law has not caught up yet. Real estate is a good example. The way property is owned as a husband and wife provides the married couple additional protections in death and debt. Below is the current statute:

§ 55-20.2. Tenants by the entireties in real and personal property; certain trusts.

A. Any husband and wife may own real or personal property as tenants by the entireties. Personal property may be owned as tenants by the entireties whether or not the personal property represents the proceeds of the sale of real property. An intent that the part of the one dying should belong to the other shall be manifest from a designation of a husband and wife as "tenants by the entireties" or "tenants by the entirety."

B. Any property of a husband and wife that is held by them as tenants by the entireties and conveyed to their joint revocable or irrevocable trusts, or to their separate revocable or irrevocable trusts, shall have the same immunity from the claims of their separate creditors as it would if it had remained a tenancy by the entirety, so long as (i) they remain husband and wife, (ii) it continues to be held in the trust or trusts, and (iii) it continues to be their property.

(2001, c. 718; 2006, c. 281.)

Importantly, the statute is referenced assuming a man and woman are married. Therefore, the question arises of whether a same sex couple who gets married and then purchases property gets this same level of protection. Careful consultation with a family law attorney and real estate attorney is important.

What does the US Supreme Court decision today mean for same-sex marriage in Virginia?

MARRIAGE EQUALITY IN VIRGINIA FOR SAME-SEX COUPLES: On October 6, 2014, the Supreme Court denied review of seven Federal Circuit Court rulings (from the Tenth, Seventh, and Fourth Circuits) that held state bans on same-sex marriage violated the U.S. Constitution. In denying review, the Supreme Court has effectively allowed those favorable rulings to stand. This means  Virginia will soon be added to the list of states allowing same-sex marriage and that the stay previously issued will be lifted very soon, if not today. 

What does this mean for Virginia residents? The decision of the Fourth Circuit Federal Court of Appeals will stand and same sex marriages will now be performed in and recognized in the Commonwealth of Virginia.



This decision has important impact on both couples who were married previously in jurisdictions other than Virginia and on couples now considering marriage in Virginia.  Consider consulting a family law attorney to be sure you understand your rights that come with this landmark development.