How Can I Be Successful In 2015

Empowering people is part of why I do family law and why I am proud to help bring this program to our community.

How Do I Make My Marriage Stronger?

Believe it or not, even as divorce attorneys, when we meet with people who want information about worse case scenarios if a separation occurs, those folks still want their marriage to work.  They seek legal advice to protect themselves, but they really don't want to be in our offices.  So, we get ready to ring in 2015, here are some tips we have compiled to help if you feel your marriage could be stronger:

1.  Make time for you as a couple.  Make arrangements for the kids and then go to the movies, out for dinner, for a walk, etc.  Too often we get consumed with the pressures and commitments of work, shuttling the kids to activities, etc.  Time out for you is important.

2.  Appreciate what you each bring to the relationship, even when it is different from your spouse.  The ying and yang of a couple can make a dynamic system.

3.  Know your household finances and talk about financial goals.  One of the most common stressors in a marriage is money.   Understanding what you each make, how it is used for expenses, what is being saved, what your long term future may look like helps you each feel like you have a part to play.

4.  Make time for you.  Yes, you.  We all have lots of responsibilities with jobs (inside and outside the household), other family members, etc.  Having time for yourself to recharge makes you better.

5.  Seek counseling.  Marriage is hard work; raising kids is hard work; balancing everything in life is hard work.  It's ok if you need to have others help you.  Be sure if you need counseling to find the right person and the right speciality (individual counseling, marriage counseling, co-parenting counseling are three distinct areas and professionals in these areas have distinct training; it is not necessarily an all-in-one approach so do your research).

6.  Know your rights as a spouse and as a parent.  So many resources are available on line, through friends, etc. on what you should do, can do, shouldn't do, can't do if your marriage is in trouble.  If you get to that stage, seek advice through qualified, experienced professionals including family law attorneys.

How should I file taxes if I'm divorced or separated?

Here are some pointers that you may want to discuss with your lawyer and/or your accountant when separating from your spouse or getting a divorce.

1)    Your filing status is based on your marital status as of December 31.  Should you file your taxes based on  married filing single? Head of household? Filing jointly?  Is it beneficial to delay the entry of the divorce decree if you are close to the end of the year?
2)    In order to file as head of household if you are still married,  do you meet all of the requirements including length of separation?
3)    Who gets to claim the tax dependency exemption for a child if not specified in an Agreement or Order?   Do not assume that it is based on who pays the most in child support.  Be sure that you talk to your accountant/tax attorney about this and understand all of the nuances.
4)    Who gets the child care credit?  Again, do not assume that it is based on who pays the most in child support.  Do you have to be claiming the tax dependency exemption for this credit to apply?
5)  What tax issues can you and your spouse agree on and the tax people will honor?  Are there things that you are not allowed to make agreements on?  What forms might you have to complete to carry out agreements?
6)  How does filing status affect deductions or inclusions of spousal support payments?
7)  How should refunds or liabilities be apportioned?
These are just some of the questions that you should be considering as the year comes to an end and tax forms begin to appear in January.

Child custody and holidays

Holidays can be the best of times or the worst of times; and during a separation or after a divorce, the unique issues that face parents dealing with child custody tend to come to a head.  Family traditions are important and navigating how to structure new traditions can be difficult.  Where should a child wake up on Christmas Day?  Should that be alternated each year?  How can travel out of town during the holidays be accommodated and still allow the other parent time to spend with children near special days?  If one parent had Thanksgiving, who should get the next holiday?  Can the exact day be shared comparably?  These are questions that separated/divorced parents have to figure out.  Some can do it on their own; some can do it with the help of a co-parenting counselor; some need the assistance of attorneys or mediators; some will try to have a Court decide.  Our children grow up quickly; and the times of wide-eyed surprise on Christmas morning can vanish in a blink if parents are stuck in litigation and waiting for others to make the decisions for them.  Try to work out the holidays, look at how you can set the example for your children in making days and seasons special for them.  Understand that if you need professionals to help, advance discussions are important so that the plans can be made well ahead of time and the season/day itself can be focused on being together, celebrating, loving, and creating good memories.  Happy Holidays to all of our clients, colleagues, readers, and friends.