Having an Advocate for You

If you have been following us for the last several blogs, you may be wondering why divorce attorneys are giving tips about lessening stress for couples and marriages.  We see folks when these stresses become too much for a marriage to handle, when planning and communication has not been done, or when goals are no longer aligned.  We know the toll that separation and divorce can take on families.  We are advocates for people who face separation and divorce, who must now face issues of custody and child support and alimony.   We also feel it is important advocate for people to make their own new year’s resolutions to help them toward their objectives for their lives, their marriages, and their families. 

Goals for the Family

Personal short term and long term goals are important to any family unit.  What does Mom want to accomplish this year and beyond?  What about Dad?  Don’t forget the kids, they have goals too – from trying a new sport, improving their skills at a prior activity, doing well in school, etc.    Employment changes, large household purchases, a special family vacation should all be considered in goals for either the coming year or future years.  Setting these goals as a family can help everyone enjoy them and minimize any stressors that may come with them.

Finances in a Marriage

Setting up a budget as we have discussed in our last two blogs can help the financial stresses that can face a marriage.   Married couples who encounter unexpected expenses without the means to pay for them can find themselves in heated arguments.  A leaky roof, a trip to the emergency room, etc. should be a time when couples come together to resolve a problem, but without proper financial planning such times can lead to unintended negative consequences.

What to Do with the Leftover?

If at the end of the last blog, you had a positive amount left from your income less your expenses, you can then decide how to use this discretionary amount.   Are there expenses you have that allow you to have things you enjoy?  Do you want to put this amount per month toward a family vacation?  Do you want to put some into college accounts for children or savings accounts for a large expense?  Are you putting any money away toward retirement and can you use some of this money for that purpose?  The goal is to have enough income to cover both your necessary expenses as well as have some for these discretionary expenses.

Calculating Your Income

Last blog, we mentioned learning about your household finances, taking responsibility for staying in the know, and managing them with the goal of having some savings.  A budget is a good place to start this resolution.   Start with your household income.  Remember gross income is not what you get to use, take out your federal and state taxes (there are great calculators on line to help you determine this).  Now, subtract your fixed monthly necessary expenses:  mortgage/rent, utilities (electric, gas, cable, internet, trash, phone, etc) , groceries, car payment, insurance (house, car, health), gas, medical expenses, and other regular expenses.  What do you have as your end amount?  Stay tuned for our next blog….

It's a New Year

It’s January of a new year and for most of us that means it’s time for some resolutions.  In our family law practice, we have had the opportunity over many years to hear the resolutions that our clients make and we want to share a few of them with you:  (1) Learn about your household finances; (2) Take responsibility for staying in the know about monthly expenses; (3) Manage your finances so that there are savings each month; (4) Communicate with your spouse; (5) Communicate with your children; (6) Have a personal short term and long term plan; (7) Laugh; (8) Be thankful; (9) Exercise your body and your mind; (10) Have a good estate plan.